What do you do when your college freshman calls you at 12:30 am crying? You go pick her up. It's a good thing it's only 40 minutes away. What was wrong? Nothing...everything...that stupid "ethics" class (an Orwellian course title if there ever was one)...just...stuff. Definitely the kind of answer that requires a good night's sleep in one's own bed. Especially if your next class isn't until one o'clock in the afternoon.
I drafted Paul, still awake despite the hour, to drive in with me. I like driving (you heard?), and I like it even better when there's no traffic. Late night, it was just Paul, MacB. and the taxis. Except by the residence hall. Paul called her as we approached. "Where are you?" she asked. "Behind a fire engine," he answered sleepily. It was late...The fireman waved me around, and we pulled up to the hall. Libby came down in her PJs and we drove home. We had a good chat on the way. Nothing big was wrong...just a bunch of little things. And exhaustion.
Not sure how to solve all the little problems, though we are working working on it, and making quick progress. Of course, a long sleep and good coffee make even a gloomy rainy day seem better than the day before. And on the bright side, there are only 4 weeks left in the semester, and a new class will, we hope, will bring a better teacher.
The good thing? All the music classes are great, and going very well. The rest will work out, I'm sure.
ETA: Is picking her up a symptom of Overparenting??
7 comments:
My heart goes out to you and your daughter. I have 2 daughters at a state school 70 miles away. One is a freshman, the other a senior. Too far to pick up for an overnight, but we have had to deal with difficult issues over the phone...the roommate who has her boyfriend spend the night IN THE SAME ROOM...other freshman WHO ALSO LIVE ON THE PRE-MED FLOOR smoking pot, drinking, partying, missing class...My girls are certainly getting an "education." Were it not for the awesome Catholic campus ministry and FOCUS, we would've brought them home long ago.
No, no, absolutely not! I think when you've got a Christian college Freshman being harassed in an ethics class, it helps to be reminded that there are friendly faces that will back you up, and perhaps fix you a cup of tea as they arm you for the next go 'round. I remember that harassment well, and it *is* wearing. And the musical intensity is wearing. And the city itself, fire trucks and all, is wearing.
Yikes--and to think my daughter is potentially interested in the same college, or that other one up the street. Meanwhile, I'll pray for Libby.
I think overparenting would be personally going to speak to the professor of the ethics class. Good parents talk things out to enable them to deal with life on their own; and that relationship should last a lifetime. Underparenting would have been to tell her to "deal with it" and let you go to sleep.
Gosh, Debbie (hi!!)! I wish there were a FOCUS group, or even a chaplain on campus. But there isn't, and that is not good. At least she is not far from home, and her roommate is also a Catholic homeschooler. Both girls are complaining that there is support for every odd group on campus, except Catholic students. Maybe they can start one.
Laura, it is wearing! I remember, too.
You know, Libby's best friend is at the "one up the street" and has started to tell Libby that she ought to be more open-minded. Wearing, indeed.
Elizabeth, I can't tell you the overwhelming urge to talk to the prof. I have, LOL!! "Resist, resist," I tell myself. OTOH, dh was ready to tell me to go back to sleep. I guess that's why the kid has two parents...keeping it balanced!
Sometimes it really is a fine line we have to walk, isn't it? I can't tell you how many times my husband and I have had to balance eachother out in our parenting decision!
Post a Comment